WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
