So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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