i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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