Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
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He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
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