Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
