Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
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