And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
