oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
