i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
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