I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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