What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
