So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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