No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
