youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just had sex on a roof
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
