We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
