When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
