On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
