New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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