you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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