did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Randomize
