ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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