ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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