East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We have started to decorate penises.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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