Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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