I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize