so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
