He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
