one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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