I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
