I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
