I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Randomize
