just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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