Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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