If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
