Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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