Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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