So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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