She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
you inspire me to be a worse person
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize