Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
