He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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