How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
