I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
