I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you would pick up someone in the library
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
