Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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