I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
