did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
