I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize