Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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