I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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