we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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