don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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