New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
