Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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