At least make sure they are 18
Why
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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