its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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