Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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