He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
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His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
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My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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