I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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