Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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