My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
