Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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